I was listening to a programme on Radio 4 this afternoon. It's that one about numbers and stuff, that I only ever hear by accident, but every time I do I forget that I disliked maths at school. Anyway, they were talking about means and medians and the like and somewhere in the middle of all that was a fascinating bit about how we all think we're much better than the average bear. These over-inflated expectations of ourselves lead some of us to believe we can sing/dance/model or whatever. Hence the cringe-making auditionees at the X-Factor. (The best bit, in my opinion.) As I was scrubbing the sink ( I was cleaning the bathroom at the time) it occurred to me that when you look at (most) of the people who actually win those talent show contests, they're people who have actually tried to learn a bit about singing and the art of performing and so on. It's the ones who only warble to their deluded relatives at weddings that are the loopers who think they have talent.
Which led me to wonder about would-be writers and if there are loads of X-Factor type wannabe scribes floating about who really, really think they can write, like, you know and if you don't just really really, like get their stuff, then you're just so wrong, like. Indeed, I have run across some of their badly written stuff on the internet. And it is teeth-clenchingly bad.
There are bound to be loads of letters on fiction editor's desks, telling them just why they were so wrong, like, you know, to, you know, reject their NOVEL and, like how they're just going to SEE, right, when they sell gazillions. Probably lots of them on perfumed notepaper and written in pink ink. And just like all those scary X-factor wannabes, surrounded by their adoring family -- the ones who run in and shake their tattooed fists at Simon Cowell* -- somebody must have fed the delusion that they had talent.
The thing is, I've written loads of stuff and about 90% of it has been published (all non-fiction, alas). I can spell and construct long sentences and use big hard words, but I would never, ever expect that my fiction would get published (and so far, it hasn't). I have a had a few rejections, most of them very helpful, in terms of improving what I write. And I pay attention to the advice and try to apply it. So why is it that people who can neither write nor construct a story nor seem to have had any practice at writing, other than rambling on the internet (okay, a bit like this) send stuff in to editors? And then get volcanically annoyed when they get rejected?
Now I no longer think that editors take far too long to get back to you. Now I am amazed they manage to get to any of the half-decent stuff at all. Er, not that my stuff is necessarily half-decent. It may be, someday....
Which led me to wonder about would-be writers and if there are loads of X-Factor type wannabe scribes floating about who really, really think they can write, like, you know and if you don't just really really, like get their stuff, then you're just so wrong, like. Indeed, I have run across some of their badly written stuff on the internet. And it is teeth-clenchingly bad.
There are bound to be loads of letters on fiction editor's desks, telling them just why they were so wrong, like, you know, to, you know, reject their NOVEL and, like how they're just going to SEE, right, when they sell gazillions. Probably lots of them on perfumed notepaper and written in pink ink. And just like all those scary X-factor wannabes, surrounded by their adoring family -- the ones who run in and shake their tattooed fists at Simon Cowell* -- somebody must have fed the delusion that they had talent.
The thing is, I've written loads of stuff and about 90% of it has been published (all non-fiction, alas). I can spell and construct long sentences and use big hard words, but I would never, ever expect that my fiction would get published (and so far, it hasn't). I have a had a few rejections, most of them very helpful, in terms of improving what I write. And I pay attention to the advice and try to apply it. So why is it that people who can neither write nor construct a story nor seem to have had any practice at writing, other than rambling on the internet (okay, a bit like this) send stuff in to editors? And then get volcanically annoyed when they get rejected?
Now I no longer think that editors take far too long to get back to you. Now I am amazed they manage to get to any of the half-decent stuff at all. Er, not that my stuff is necessarily half-decent. It may be, someday....
*I actually like Cowell. Most of the time he tells people the truth about their performance. I just hate the way the process has made stuff ever more bland than before.
1 comment:
Miranda, I blogged about some research on exactly this a little while ago: here's a link.
http://howpublishingreallyworks.blogspot.com/2008/08/you-have-to-be-good-to-know-that-youre.html
Having spent some time as an editor I know just how bad most submissions are: the X Factor auditions are at least amusing, but most submissions are truly, dreadfully awful. Have a look for a link to Making Light's Slushkiller (I've blogged about that, too!) if you want to read a little more on the subject.
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